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Facts

• Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig. Everyone gets dirty but the pig loves it.
• Reality is a hallucination caused by a lack of alcohol.
• Boy, Life takes a long time to live.
• Don't climb to close to god... he might shake the tree.

Murphy's laws

• If anything can go wrong, it will.
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
• If there is a possiblility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the first one to go wrong.
• O'Toole's commentray: Murphy was an optimist.

Computer programming laws

• OS Programming is as much fun as you can have... with your clothes on.
• Any given program will expand to fill all the available memory.
• If a program is usefull, it will have to be modified.
• If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
• The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.

Real Programmers

• Real programmers don't write specs. --- Users should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all, and take what they get.
• Real users hate Real programmers !
• Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
• Real programmers don't write application programs. They program right down to the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can't do system programming.
• Real programmers don't eat quiche. They eat twinkies and szechwan food. (Do not go to eat szechwan food with a group of real programmers unless you are prepared to argue bitterly over the last spring roll).
• Real programmers' programs never work right the first time. But if you throw them on the machine, they can be patched into working in only a few 30-hour debugging sessions.
• Real programmers never work 9 to 5. If they are up around 9 AM, it's because they were up all night.
• Real programmers don't write BASIC. Actually, no programmers write in BASIC... after the age of twelve.
• Real programmers don't play tennis or any other sport wich requires you to change clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the computer room.
• Real programmers don't do documentation. Documentation is for simps who can't figure out the listing.
• Real programmers don't write PASCAL, or any of those pinko computer science languages.Strong typing is for people with weak memories.

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